Just before Christmas, former Judas Priest guitarist K K Downing revealed that, despite a prolonged period of silence, he had not totally left the metal scene behind, by revealing that he was releasing not a new album but a range of fragrances named after the genre in which he in turn had made his name.
“I think I just woke up one morning and thought of the word ‘metal’ and I thought ‘metal for men’ and I thought — straight away, I thought — ‘What could that relate to?’” he explained. “And I don’t know why I thought about it, but I thought there’s nothing out there on the market that’s associated with rock and metal fans in respect to fragrances and stuff. And I guess that, combined with my mum asking me continually what I want for Christmas and stuff, it just came about. And it just so happens I had a friend who had associations with fragrances before, and it came about very, very quickly.”
So, is the former axeslinger serious about his latest, apparently very un-Metal venture…. and, more importantly is it actually, shall we say, fragrant? Well, with Valentine’s Night looming large on the horizon, PlanetMosh’s ost unromantic romantic soon-to-be husband-and-missus-from-Hell, The Dark Queen and myself, decided to splash the cash and put it to the test…
‘Metal For Men’ (as reviewed by The Dark Queen): It’s smells like a mixture between roadies’ BO and a musty pile of cables left out in the rain – it’s just horrible, and he’s never wearing this fucking stinking shite!
‘Metal Pour Femme’ (as reviewed by this oul bollox): At first there’s no smell of it, and I thought I was gonna have to douse the bitch in the stuff, but then the sickly sweet aroma slowly permeates. There’s no way this so-called fragrance reminds in any way of heavy fuckin’ metal other than by it’s after aroma of sweaty nights in a festival tent.
Speaking at the time of the fragrances’ launch, Downing had also offered the following about any possible return to playing music:
“We’ll have to see what happens. Who knows?” he shrugged. “But anyway, I’m always doing stuff in the music thing. I don’t want people to think that I’m just disassociating myself [from music], ’cause I’m not. I’m helping some new bands, and I’m always doing stuff on my website and stuff, and I’m happy to do that. Something will come along, I think. I’ve had a couple of propositions for next year. We’ll see what happens. I’m looking forward to the future. That’s all I can say.”
Let’s hope any return to music is better than his venture into a domain better left to the likes of Dior and St Laurent! If you want to impress your bird, or your fella, next weekend, stick with what you’ve normally done ‘cos this stuff will have both of you with your tongues licking the toilet bowl rather than each other’s tonsils!